whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
