Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Randomize
