I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
