Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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