We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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