Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
