You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Randomize
