She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm bleeding and have questions
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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