Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
