I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?