You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
