We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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