Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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