this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
