it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
