.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
