OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
