he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
