ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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