How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
