I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
