i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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