I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
