WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize