I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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