She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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