Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
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If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
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we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Whats that? My new stripper name?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.