Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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