I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
