"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
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