I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
