I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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