I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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