i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
