I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
