Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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