you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
