i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
3 2 1 whiskey
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
