i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
This house was built for laser tag.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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