I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
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