if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
The uberlube is also flammable
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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