Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
