I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
