doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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