I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
