No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
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I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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