The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize