saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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