Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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