Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
