turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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