Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
We don't watch enough power rangers
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
