Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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