So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
