dude i'm inner monologue high
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
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