She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize