Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
either way he was missing a nipple.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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