Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
