Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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