There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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