these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
