No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
