i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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