Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
We need to rekindle our bromance
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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