I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
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