so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
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I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
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New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
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